Get your iQuit
Employee Badge.

The org chart of the free

12 ways to clock out.

Your first badge is locked to your handle. Same handle, same Badge #1, every time. Want another exit? Reroll. HR is not taking questions.

1. 01

   The Ghost

   Left mid-meeting. Camera still on.

2. 02

   The Two-Week Legend

   Gave notice, then spent two weeks handing out snacks and good vibes.

3. 03

   The Reply-All Exit

   Said goodbye to the entire company. Even the printer got a thank-you.

4. 04

   The Lunch Break That Never Ended

   Stepped out for a sandwich. Never came back. Great sandwich.

5. 05

   The Spreadsheet Escapee

   Merged one last cell, then broke out of the grid for good.

6. 06

   The Monday Dodger

   Saw Monday coming and simply... didn't.

7. 07

   The Out-Of-Office Forever

   Auto-reply set to “Back: never.” Have a lovely day.

8. 08

   The Sunday Night Texter

   “hey, i know it’s sunday night…” Sent. Slept great.

9. 09

   The Stapler Liberator

   Handed in the badge. Kept the stapler. Fair trade.

10. 10

    The 4:59 Sprinter

    Laptop closed before the clock even finished ticking.

11. 11

    The Plant Rescuer

    Walked out with the office plant. Both of you are thriving now.

12. 12

    The Calendar Cleaner

    Declined every meeting. Even the recurring one. Especially the recurring one.

1. RARE

   The Legend Who Left Mid-Meeting

   Stood up during slide 4 of 37. Said “great chat.” Walked into the sunset.

2. RARE

   Quit Via Company-Wide Email

   Subject: “Bye.” Body: “Bye.” 4,000 recipients. Zero regrets.

3. RARE

   Boss Asked Them To Stay (They Didn’t)

   Boss said “please, we’re like a family.” They waved from the elevator.

4. RARE

   Clocked Out On Day One

   Got the laptop, the lanyard and the welcome mug. Clocked out by lunch.

5. RARE

   The Badge-Return Speedrun

   Badge back at the front desk in 11 seconds. A new office record.

6. RARE

   Resigned In Comic Sans

   Two-sentence letter. Size 48. Comic Sans. HR framed it.